House Painting and Other Habits

Have you ever seen an interior designer who was not happy? Try coming up to an English Decorator, male or female, and bring up the term "*gay" and you will know what everyone at the Paint Supplier Store does. Oh what a joy it is to come into a nicely painted room with that fresh paint smell huh?

F. Y. I.
*gay - (gae') - happy or jovial; high spirited; content; satiated; obsolete-slang(homosexual).

Gay does not mean 'doing it' unnaturally.

Not sure about what to do with that old penny colored house.

Well look no further:

Can't get the paint off? You can rent a sandblaster, but if you use it the wrong way you will have **silicosis.

F. Y. I.
**silicosis - (sil' uh ko ses) - any toxicity level of silicone or silicates characterized by hyperactivity, undulating fever, sweating around the scalp and chest, and an increased sex drive; not to be confused with other types of respiratory illness.

note: Don't point your sandblaster towards any person or skin.

Revoke your old method of painting and put the paint right inside the sandblaster after you finished sanding if you want. note: please make sure the contract for rental of the sandblaster does not exclude certain types of liquids.

Make sure when you return the sandblaster that you have at least two people to run a diversion scheme. It isn't illegal unless you actually agree to not use liquids in the sandblaster when you make your rental agreement.

You can use an old rag with poked holes in it and rubber-band it onto the sandblasting hole for a smaller nozzle.

An old screen works pretty well also.

You better make sure it is fastened really good to your sandblaster though.

If you don't use a nozzle you can paint the grass, the car, and the sidewalk too while you paint your house with a sandblaster.

Painting inside? Why not just boil your paint on? You get your rollers all ready and then you are off. Two tone red and orange family room paint jobs go on a lot easier when you are boiling water while you paint inside.

Try to get enough boiling water to steam up the house so you won't damage your brain. When you and your painting friends get finished at the end of the day, the neighbors who just got home will think their house is haunted. Try to make so much noise banging and turning things over to make your neighbors think that their deceased grandparents have come back to life. You will have a good time seeing the looks on their faces when they start seeing the spirits coming from your turpentine concoction too. That's not illegal either, believe it or not.

Just put a coat of oil on it, that's what I say. Old looking wall that still has some life to it in that old wood finish? Just grab a gallon of oil and get to it. You can bring any home back to life if you put enough oil on it. Please note the increase in the size of your house when you cover it with oil. Good luck on your next financial decorating move.