Friday, December 26, 2008

I Have a Red and White Lapp Hat with a White Ball on Top

Can you guess who I am really? I wear a Red and White Lapp Hat with a White Ball on top and I have helpers who move me around. I am not plump because I work all the time and I don't eat fat because it makes me sick. If I leave the house, I usually have people escorting me back home. I work really hard trying to make nice things at the fireplace so that no one will have problems with their durable goods. My coat isn't Red and White but more like Army Green and I fight for the rights of the individual. Some people say that I am the only one who fights, but I don't see it that way. If you see me you will probably notice my bright headgear first, but you would not say that I am extraordinary. I will defend you if I can but I usually feel inadequate to the task. I am your best friend but you never talk to me. I am awake most of the time because I cannot sleep until I find out exactly what is the problem with the world. I am Santa's helper, that is what I am. You would never believe it but I have seen the Great Chariot in the Sky, and my supervisor is very Jolly. I may never be as strong as he is, nor will I probably be as generous or kind, but I make my best effort. Some people call it trying. I believe that I can help though, and Santa, if you are out there, I want you to know that I will still be here if you need me. It's a hard life to lead, but I am letting you know that I will help when I can. Remember me Santa. I am just a lowly Elf in your workforce. Remember me please. . .


Friday, December 05, 2008

Thanks from the BUBI Response Team

We here at Response @ are pleased to announce our latest statistical data on how successful soliciting people's book ideas have been. It was surprising to find out that NONE of the respondents had ANY book ideas whatsoever, at least from what the statistical data shows. It is good to know that people don't just give their book ideas away. Back at the planet that I came from, you were forced to submit your book idea, and you better like it or else. After the Grand Leader would receive your book idea, you were punished anyway. As your BUBI leader, I am pleased to announce that there shouldn't be anymore torture for having a book idea. In your world I think it is called the Constitution of the United States that guarantees these freedoms. That is why my intention is to fulfill my obligation to your faithfulness, by submitting to this Constitution so that I can be heard without punishment. What a wonderful country this must be.